Do Not Resuscitate Me - I'm Mediocre!

I just managed to catch on camera this ambulance as it raced by the other day. I couldn't quite believe what its logo said. It is a private ambulance operated by "Carillion" a company with interests in a wide variety of sectors of which health care is one. The mission statement on the side of the vehicle might work well in other contexts but in the area of health care provision it does not translate so well!

Bringing Excellence to life.

Maybe the paramedic would say, "sorry mate, I can't help - you're crap!"

How about, "your medical insurance is invalid; you didn't declare that you're rubbish!"

Breaking bad news: "I'm really sorry... we tried everything... but your husband's mediocrity was irreversible".

Tabloid headline; "the 'average' gene discovered - hope at last for sufferers!"

Maybe there is a niche in the market for a company specialising in "bringing bog-standard to life"! The 'National Institute for Clinical Excellence' (NICE) would become the institute for clinical indifference. Think about it; instead of Intensive Care for the critically ill you could have an Average Care Unit for the moderately poorly. Rather than a hospital being described as 'a centre of excellence' it could be a 'centre of mediocrity'. It could be a winner.... well.... no, thinking about it, that would be against its ethos wouldn't it?