Killing Spree! Crazed Londoner
in night-time garden massacre!

It was like this you see, I'd been taking these pills for
my backpain - I've been on them weeks now. And I'm
taking sleeping pills on top of them like. Sometimes
they help me sleep for a few hours and sometimes I
get these "dreams".

Anyway one night I'd had all these pills and had had
a nightmare, besides I couldn't sleep cos I was in pain,
so I hobbles downstairs to make myself a cup of tea. It's
2 or 3 O'Clock in the morning. I has my tea....and
then I'm not sure if I'm awake or dreaming....maybe
it was the pills that was making me confused like!
Or MAYBE they're really helping me see things
straight for the first time! Because everthing becomes
clear to me.

You see I realise that they are out there....in the garden
....but they don't know I'm awake....they think I'm tucked
up in bed don't they? These neighbours of mine have
never liked me....I could never prove anything but I
was sure they were plotting against me.....they mess up
my garden at night [every night!] when I'm not around....
they don't have the guts to do it in daylight! Stinking cowards!
And then it comes to me like a "revelation!" This is it! I can
catch the blighters red handed......cos they won't be expecting
me will they?!

Quick as a flash I grabs a torch and a weapon and I
charges out into the garden in the dead of night - and
the bastards are there! Scores of 'em! BANG! Slug there.
BANG! Slug there. I go mental like and I can't stop and
when I've finished they're all these bodies lying there all
around me.

The snails didn't fair much better either.